The past two years have been full of change. As any of you who have been reading this blog from the beginning know, it was started at a time of huge, unexpected change. At a time when I had no idea who I was, or where I belonged, or what I should be doing. And it was that not knowing that set me on the path I have followed for the last while which, though full of twists and turns and roadblocks, has been full of laughs, love, and challenges. To be honest, change has been a theme over these past two years; not just accepting change, but embracing it, loving it, and learning to grow through it.And I have. I have learned how to take a huge risk without feeling like if I failed I would never recover. I have learned how to find my way in a massive city, in a brand new country, on an entirely unknown continent. I have learned how to build a family out of my friends. And I have learned that I, above all, have final say on every decision in my life and that I can make those decisions by all by myself.
And so, that said, another major life change is about to take place. On Tuesday I will be waving goodbye to the brilliant UK and returning (briefly) once more to the great state of California before jumping once again to land in my new city with Matt.
Why? You ask. Well, the short answer is that my visa has run out, which initially seemed like the worst news in the world to me, but which has now become the biggest, most important step I’ve made so far in my little life.
But before I go, I do have to pay tribute to the city and country that have felt so much like home for the past year.
Living in a city like London means you are living in constant state of motion. I don’t know if I ever really stopped for breath this year, and if I did it was when I was back in California, floating in the pool and wishing I was back in London. Although a year isn’t a long time to live in a city, it’s long enough to plant some roots (baby roots) and start to feel at home. I felt immediately at home in London, and that feeling has only grown during the past year. This city has latched on to me in a way that I didn’t expect, and taken up residence in a very big piece of my heart.
The thing I love about cities (that I love about London) is that anything is possible. I don’t think there’s been a day that’s gone by in London where I haven’t seen or done something new, made a friend, or felt challenged in some way. Even now, after a year, I know I haven’t seen and done everything that there is to do in London. I’ve only had part of the London experience, but it’s been my London experience, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’ve been asked over the last few weeks what I’m going to miss most about London and my life here. And the simple answer is everything. Even crammed rides in the tube and the dismal rainy days have left a lasting impression. But yes, there are a few things that I will feel particularly lost without- for awhile at least. I doubt that I’ll ever spend as much time in the pub as I have here. I’ll never drink as much tea or consume as many biscuits. I’ll never be as delighted by silly British phrases like “off with the fairies” and “bits and bobs”. I’ll never see so many curry restaurants or enjoy so many late night pasties. And I’ll never again be stopped in my tracks as I walk along the Southbank, marvelling at how majestic and beautiful the city I live in is. But when it comes down to it, a city is just a city. And the world is made up of so many more that are worth discovering.
But the thing I will truly miss, that I already miss, is my friends and colleagues, who became my family and without whom I would have been so lost this year. You know who you are, and I hope you know how important you are to me. I would dare to say that this year has been one of most, if not the most, fun year of my life, and that is entirely due to the amazing and adventurous souls I have met here. I’ll always remember incredible nights out at clubs that are too posh for me, scoping out every brunch spot in the city for the best eggs benny, endless hours whiled away in cozy little pubs, very loud and incredibly exciting Friday mornings followed by all day countdowns to Friday night, greasy lunches at the Caf, spring and summer afternoons in the park, Mexican dinners and movie nights, Sunday mornings at Whole Foods, and dance parties, always dance parties. You are all irreplaceable and I will miss you dearly. But I know it’s not the end, you’re lifers in my book.Much love to this wonderful city and everyone who has been part of my life here. And as my grandma always says, “We won’t say goodbye, we’ll just say so long.”
